Lakeside
by Black Knight 03
Summary: Susan sits at the edge of the Great Lake, thinking about where she’s been and where she’s going. One-shot SB-HP


bTitle/b Lakeside

Disclaimer – J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter

A/N- This was written for Round 3 of hptarot over at LJ. I used three cards in a spread known as Past, Present, Future. The interpretations of the three cards I drew are below.

Card Interpretation:

The Past: Six of Swords – You are running from something. Unless you examine the way you think, your running will accomplish nothing except an immediate escape from what is troubling you. Until you learn to face it, it will come up again in some other guise.

The Present: Queen of Cups – Your heart is engaged, whether in deep concern for loved ones or about your own emotional well-being. Although things around you may not seem perfect, there is a sensual beauty to the situation. Perhaps you are concerned about the longevity of a relationship (romantic or otherwise). Look to the needs of your heart.

The Future: The Star – The message of The Star is replenishment and faith. Know that the cycles of nature are true and natural and that after a hard time, a better time will follow. Know that your heart will be refreshed and your faith will be renewed. And when it comes, give yourself over to it, immerse yourself in the cool waters of faith and the constant light of the Star.

Sitting on a large root of a tree at the edge of the Great Lake, Susan stared out at the water, watching as dark grey clouds rolled over head. _It's going to storm tonight_, she mused.

Closing her eyes, she listened to the sounds around her. The water rippling upon the shore, the few birds chirping, and the occasional rummaging of an animal.

This afternoon, the Castle had been too loud and busy, and she had quickly made her exit to the relative peacefulness of the lakeside. She had a lot on her mind, and all she wanted was a quiet place to think.

Like for so many, the past few years had been rough for Susan. _So many deaths, so much destruction._ Susan shook her head trying to push those thoughts out of her head. It had only been until just recently that she had started to come to terms with what happened and the nightmares were starting to lessen. Reaching into her pocket, she carefully withdrew a small monocle. Holding it in the palm of her hand, she looked at it sadly.

It would be three years this summer that her aunt had been murdered. _Protective Custody,_ she thought sarcastically. _Murdered in a room that locks from the inside._

Closing her fingers around the monocle, Susan took a deep breath. She had been very close to her aunt, and was devastated when she was lost. Susan was her parents' only child, and having lost her cousins in the first war, she was also the only child of their family. Over the years, Amelia had become almost like a second mother to Susan.

When not at school, Susan would regularly have tea with her aunt. It was during these times that Susan learned a lot about the world, Wizarding society, and her family. The most important part was that Amelia wouldn't talk down to her niece; she treated Susan as she would any other woman she interacted with. Perhaps this was a reason why Susan tended to act, and feel, older than her friends and classmates.

Susan vividly remembered the last time she saw her aunt; just before the Unspeakables took her into that protective custody; for her own safety, the Ministry had claimed, as she was a key and high ranking member of the Wizengamont and the Ministry itself. As they parted, in a show of uncharacteristic emotion, drew her niece into a tight embrace. Urging her to stay safe and be careful.

Closing her eyes, Susan took a few deep breaths as she felt herself beginning to tear up. Standing up, she slipped the monocle back into her pocket. Her aunt was just one of the many that had been lost to the war. Some she didn't know, and others she knew very well.

While she didn't lose any of her close friends, there were many she did know that had lost their lives. Some, Hufflepuffs a year or two younger than her, that she really only knew by their names and faces.

With chaos around them back then, no one could truly mourn for the losses they felt during the war. So, once everything had ended, for her at least, everything hit her like a run away train. That's where the nightmares came in.

She didn't want to talk about what had happened to her, and aside from being a little short of temper, there really were no real signals that she was having trouble coping, at first. With no outlet, everything came out when she couldn't control it the dreams of her sleep. Dreams were the mind's way of processing events, feelings, and pretty much everything that happened to anyone.

Not being able to sleep affected her when she was awake. Trying to ignore and forget her troubles, Susan began to look for distractions, though she never considered them that.

_Surprised Hannah didn't try and curse me,_ she thought sarcastically. Looking back on it, she could kind of smile about it, now. But then, it was a hard to just make it through a day without wanting to explode.

Her first attempt, and probably most natural reaction, had been to try and help Hannah. Her best friend had severely broken her arm in the Battle of Hogwarts. While the break could be healed rather quickly, it was the damage the break had caused that would take a while to fully heal. One of the problems was Hannah didn't have full strength in the arm, but by the time school started the following September, Hannah could manage to do most things.

So it came as a surprise when after offering to help Hannah take her trunk off the train and Hannah told her she could handle it herself, she saw Neville carrying it for Hannah towards the carriages. For the first few months, Hannah and she would bicker over things like this. Hannah would say she was fine, and then, Susan would see or find out that Neville was helping her with things she had offered to help with.

She would've said something this time too, but her attention was quickly diverted to something else. After getting off the train, many of the older students just seemed to be standing around, gawking at something, but all Susan saw was air. It was then, that she somehow first caught Harry's attention.

"You don't see them, do you?" Harry said. She didn't even realize he had been standing next to her until he spoke. Having never really shared more than a few words, this was the first real conversation they had in seven, now eight, years they had been in school together.

When she shook her head no, Harry gave her a small, apologetic smile. "The carriages are being pulled by Thestrals." She remembered he snickered at her when she squinted harder at the front of one of the carriages. "You can only see them if you've witnessed a death, and have come to terms with it."

"I've seen death," Susan told him.

Harry shrugged. "And come to terms with it?" When Susan didn't answer, Harry simply shrugged again. After a few awkward moments of silence, Harry finally asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"As long as it's not about my hair." Ever since she was small, she had always worn her strawberry blonde hair in a plait down her back. But this summer, she cut it short up to just below her shoulders. Upon first seeing her new hair cut, everyone asked her what she did. Like it was something horrific. When Harry didn't actually ask her anything, she looked up at him expectedly.

He just smirked, "You said don't ask." Harry laughed at her expression, a mix of confusion, annoyance, and something else. "Well, regardless, I like it."

Susan blushed slightly. Harry opened his mouth to say something but was distracted by something behind her. "Merlin," he muttered. "Alright, Hermione," he shouted over her shoulder. "I'll be there in a moment." Giving her a small smile, "I'll see you at the feast."

Pulling her thoughts back to the present, Susan looked out over the lake again. Smirking slightly, _Harry had become a reoccurring theme this year._

Shaking her head at herself, she remembered another way she tried to forget. After another row with Hannah, she somehow managed to get her hands on a bottle of Firewhisky. Downing the whole bottle, she was plastered and stumbling around Hogwarts. If it hadn't been for Hannah, she probably would've gotten caught and into some deep trouble. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the worst that had happened was that she threw up at Harry's feet. _Not exactly my most attractive moment._

Leaning over, Susan picked up a pebble. Running her fingertips over and over the small stone, she couldn't help but smile a little as her thoughts drifted to Harry.

Some time over the course of the year, she had begun to develop a real friendship with him. In certain ways, she found the real boy to be more interesting than the hyped up hero that so many regarded him as.

It also helped that whenever the two spent any time together, he never tried to help her and they rarely talked about the war, maybe more for his benefit, though. Not to say they didn't talk about anything; they talked about anything from Quidditch to the Reconstruction of the Wizarding World. When they would talk about darker topics, he never brought them up, and never pressed when she didn't want to talk.

"I thought you'd be down here."

Susan looked back up at the path, a few feet behind her and up a small hill, and watched Harry slowly descend towards her and the lake edge.

"Too noisy," she told him, referring to the castle. "What took you?" she teased, Harry seemed to have a habit of appearing when ever she finally need to talk. Whether she wanted to or not at times.

As she watched him approach, she couldn't help but feel the twinges of a crush on him. _Heck, every Witch with a pulse is _attracted_ to Harry. What am I? Plain, common, he could have his pick of any Witch he wanted. Padma. Lisa. Sally Anne. We're going to be nothing more than friends. Might as well accept it now, rather than get my hopes up._

"Couldn't shake the fan club," he said while leaning against her tree, bringing her attention back to the present.

"So, how'd you get away?"

With a wry grin, "I have my ways," he said sarcastically. When Susan rolled her eyes at him, he snickered softly. "So what are you thinking about?"

Susan shrugged. "I've just been going over some things."

"Another nightmare?" Harry asked, slightly concerned, instantly sitting down next to her.

"Not for a few nights," Susan said while shaking her head no. "Actually… I've been thinking about my parents and this summer."

"Oh?" Harry asked, trying to be surprised.

Looking at him, calling his bluff, the corners of Susan's mouth twitched into a grin. "You can say it. You were right."

"It's not about being right."

"Maybe," she told him, sarcastically. "But even if you're not going to say it, you're still crowing about it." Leaning in, Susan nudged him with her elbow, making him laugh a little. "But I think you're right. To find some peace, any peace, I need to start with my family."

Harry nodded. "So, I guess France is out of the question?"

Shaking her head, Susan snickered. "I'm not going to save you from a pint sized pixie?" she teased, referring to Gabrielle and her not so subtle crush on Harry. "You're more afraid of her than the Death Eaters."

"The Death Eaters I knew how to fight."

Susan started laughing louder, _It's amazing how a little girl could put the fear of Merlin into Harry…and kind of cute._

"I think you'll be alright," Susan comforted him, sarcastically, of course. "Though don't let your defenses down for an instant. Those little pixies can be dangerous if they put you under their spell. Those little innocent eyes, their pretty little poutings."

Trying to glare at her, "You're just mocking me now."

Laughing harder, she nodded yes. "Just a little."

"Fine. But when I don't come back, you'll be sorry."

"I guess." As the laughter died down, and the two sat there looking out over the lake, Susan felt happy. Truly happy for the first time in a long time. _He has this quiet charm about him that he keeps hidden behind everything. Maybe because he's become so guarded, it never really comes out. He really is a sweet guy, but…I doubt anything would happen. He's destined for greater things._

"What's troubling you now?"

Susan jerked as she realized Harry was watching her, and she had been scowling. "Nothing," she squeaked out, chiding herself for the way her voice cracked.

"Alright," Harry said doubtfully. "Well, I was thinking of going in to Hogsmeade this weekend."

"Oh," she replied, surprised. "You hardly ever go in to the village anymore. I thought you had _your ways_ to get stuff."

"I do," he told her. "It's just going to be our last official trip, and I kind of felt like going for a little bit."

With a small smile, "Hermione's nagging you about it, isn't she?"

Harry just shrugged. "She's right, in a way. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come with. Ron and Hermione are probably going to go off and do… whatever. Then, Neville is going to try and find Hannah."

Susan smiled briefly at the image of Hannah and Neville. But then realized that if the two couples broke off, it'd just leave him and her together, alone. While any witch would have jumped at the opportunity, and Susan had thought about it, she just couldn't get herself to take the experience over the image.

"I… I really can't," Susan stumbled. "I have an essay to work on, due Monday, and I really haven't worked on it much lately. I really should finish it," she quickly spit out. It was a half truth, there was an essay due Monday, but it was pretty much finished and all she had to do was put a few finishing touches on it. _Why am I such a coward?_

She noticed Harry's shoulder slump a little. _Could he…Could he actually be disappointed? Why?_

"I thought you and Padma were…?" she asked, trying not to sound jealous. As a friend of Hermione's and her twin his housemate, the two often spent some time together. To Susan, it seemed like there was something between them. Though, that may have been her imagination running away with itself.

"Padma's nice and all, but… she's kind of like a more attractive version of Hermione," Harry said honestly, and then realized how he sounded. "In that, I mean, I'm not attracted to Hermione or anything, she's like a sister."

"I get it," she said softly. Harry probably would've rambled on for another hour had she let him. She had learned that when Harry was defensive or challenged, his sarcasm would come out, and he could be quite funny. But when embarrassed, he would ramble on and on, trying to explain himself.

For a few minutes at least, the pair sat on the tree root looking out over the lake, both lost in their own thoughts. These thoughts, if they dared compared them, ran on equivalent wave lengths; they were thinking about the other.

"You still owe me a drink," Harry spoke up.

"For what?"

"Remember, the night we played Wizard Chess?"

"You're still going to hold that over me?" she asked him. "You lied. You said you've rarely ever win."

"I don't," Harry shot back with a cheeky grin. "_Ron_ kicks my arse almost every time."

"Well," Susan huffed. "There's a difference between losing to someone, and losing to someone who has a chance at being a master of the game." Harry's grin widened, and Susan glared at him out of the corner of her eye. "Even with your thick head, you're bound to pick up a trick or two." Harry laughed, and despite herself, Susan smiled.

"I'll let you off the hook, but only if you do something for me."

"What?" she asked intrigued a little.

"When I get back from France-"

"If you come back from France," Susan said over him, sarcastically.

"_When_," Harry repeated, "I get back, you let me take you out to dinner."

_What?_ Susan's mind shouted at her. "I thought you hated going out like that?" she said, trying to hide being caught so off guard.

"I guess you're right," Harry reluctantly agreed. Then, just as Susan felt disaster averted, he fired his real shot. "Then, I guess you'll just have to let me make you dinner."

For the first time in her life, she actually squeaked. "Al…Alright," Susan said very softly. _Dinner? With Harry? Alone?_

"Excellent," Harry said, with a smug smirk. A rumble of thunder exploded off in the distance, signaling the approaching storm was getting closer. "We should get back," Harry said as he stood up, dusting off his jeans.

Susan remained sitting there, still shocked. _Harry, cook dinner? For us? Why?_

'_Cause he's interested in you, you dolt_, a voice answered her. The voice sounded a lot like Hannah. _He likes _you_. Heck, he's dropped enough hints. What's he got to do next? Throw you up against the tree and shag you senseless?_ That mental image caused her face to go bright red.

"Susan?" Harry asked when he noticed she was still sitting there.

"Yea," she mumbled, trying to fight off the blush. Slowly, standing up, Hannah's voice echoed in her head again. _Just go with him tomorrow. What else are you going to do? Sit in your dormroom and stare out the window all day. You certainly aren't going to work on your essay until at least Sunday. Just go! You know you like him! Stop thinking, planning everything, and just take a chance!_ she thought, while slowly walking towards him.

"Harry," she said rather weakly. "Since you're already going to Hogsmeade, would you mind if I did tag along with you. I mean, I do have to get some new quills, and the essay can wait a few hours."

Harry grinned softly. "Sure." As another rumble of thunder sounded, Harry looked out at the horizon. "Come on," Harry said offering her his hand as they started going up the hillside. "We better get back to the Castle."

Even though she didn't need his help to scramble back up to the path, she took it anyway. Feeling an odd, but pleasant sensation as she held Harry's hand, she smiled. Leaving the lakeside, there was still the feeling of the weight on her shoulders, but right now, it didn't seem as bad with Harry there.


End file.
